CORDIC THE CUT-UP

     (This article appeared in the Feb. 23, 1955 issue of People Today. It was a small (4 by 6 inches) magazine that was published in New York and distributed nationally. It offers a glimpse at "Cordic & Company's first days on KDKA, focusing primarily on the commercial parodies. - John Mehno)
     Off-beat Comic is Pittsburgh's Most Popular Radio Star Rege Cordic wows a large Pittsburgh audience. Known simply as Cordic to early morning radio listeners of Western Pennsylvania, he commands a waiting list of eager sponsors and $40,000 a year.
Technically a disk jockey show, Cordic's 7:10 to 9:45 morning spot is a grab bag of comedy routines, biting takeoffs on radio commercials, dialogue between Cordic and a variety of fabricated characters, plus an assortment of odd sound effects -- sandwiched between musical numbers -- serve as vehicles for Cordic's offbeat humor.
     Having just completed his first six months of the morning show, Cordic had added a 15-minute recorded evening spot four nights a week and another recorded morning show for kids. Ratings show him second only to the news.
     Cordic quips and characters are fast becoming Pittsburgh lore. Character voices are pre-recorded, some played back at different speeds. Quick and Easy O'Brien is a pickpocket; Baldwin McMoney is the richest boy in town; Boris is a monster-type who clanks around in chains. Cordic produces Boris' hollow voice by sticking his head under a piano lid and plucking the strings as background. Screamin' Mad McEldowney is coach of the East Overshoe all-losing team. 
     The evening show features recorded straight-faced calls to business firms A do-it-yourself firm was asked to listen to Cordic sawing wood to advise it was the right type.
Cordic, an owl-faced redhead of 28, gifted with spontaneous humor, is "a natural."
  
KIDDING COMMERCIALS MAKES CORDIC COMIC

    
Listeners are exhorted to try:
     "Cordic Cardboard Flavored Coffee, a delicate blend of domestic coffees and imported cardboard that will rival the taste of anything spewed forth from the automatic coffee makers in office or factory. Just the right balance -- not too much coffee, nor too little cardboard. Don't stop drinking coffee...just stop drinking ordinary coffee."
     "Saturday Morning Pills for that Monday Morning Feeling."
     "Mediocre Midgets, the shortest of all cigarettes. Definitely less long. For the man in a hurry." (This commercial is accompanied by a hacking cough).
     "Glove Compartment Kit to give your new car the lived-in look. Contains a pair of sunglasses with lens missing; a screwdriver with a broken point and no handle; a dozen assorted gasoline receipts going back to 1942; a beautiful plastic flashlight with no batteries and a cracked lens; a gorgeous four-color map of Nebraska, torn in half; a left glove; and a grand assortment of parking tickets, some local, some out-of-towns. Act now and we'll include the Debris Bag free -- contains a delightful collection of screws, nuts, bolts, hairpins, book matches, paper clips, safety pins, crumbs and hundreds of tiny items that are sure to make you feel at home in your new car. Be the first in your parking lot to own the Glove Compartment Kit. A product of Cordic & Company Research Laboratories -- Better Things For Better Living Through Chicanery."
     "Olde Frothingslosh Pale Stale Ale, the brew with the foam on the bottom. Originally a mix-it-with-water product, trouble developed when a barge loaded with the powder sank in the Thames. Citizens of Upper Crudney took the incident in stride, celebrated when the river water got into their reservoir."
     "Pocket Fuzz makes new suits like old. One package, enough for a whole suit, contains everything from pulverized paper to tobacco crumbs. Get it in One Button Roll, Double Breasted Business."